I just have to do it..

November 10, 2006

These just go from bad to worse.. but my two faves are Deja moo (we all know it when we hear it!) and the Gandhi one!

———————————–

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

7. “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.'” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome” “Is it common?” Well, “It’s Not Unusual.”

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!”

13. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”.

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”!

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him .(Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)….. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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17 Responses to “I just have to do it..”

  1. Gallivanter Says:

    The Gandhi one was good! Have a great weekend! 🙂

    Thanks & HUGS, Dan. 😀

  2. Kyels Says:

    Yes, thank God it’s Friday!
    Have a good weekend ahead!

    You have a great one, too. 😀

    HUGS!

  3. Che-Cheh Says:

    LOL Thanks for brightning up my day!

    You’re most welcome, my friend.

    HUGS! 😀

  4. Vern Says:

    Hahaha! Those are good! Thanks. I needed a good laugh. 🙂

    I’m glad you like them. 😉

    HUGS!

  5. Ashish C. Says:

    The Antenna and Gandhi ones were great! Deja Moo is good too! But best of all is the 20th! 😀 Thanks for an early morning funny mood!

    I’m glad you like them, too. 😀

    HUGS!

  6. moz monster Says:

    I like ’em all … keep it up … and have a good weekend …

    I hope you have a good one yourself. 😉

    HUGS!

  7. nyonyapenang Says:

    hahaha……
    you have a great weekend too!

    Thanks & HUGS, Kak Nyonya! 😀

  8. lx Says:

    This is hilarious, jemima! Thanks for making my day. I’ve had a horrid end to a good day today and this made me smile. You have a good weekend ahead 😉

    You poor thing! Try & have a great weekend, Lx.

    HUGS!

  9. Anneesa Says:

    Thanks Jemima! I was in stitches by the time I was done reading it.
    Have a good weekend dearie! *HUGS*

    Thanks & HUGS, Ness. 😀

  10. zeroimpact Says:

    🙂
    Have a great weekend!
    And it’s saturday edi…

    Time really flies..
    Thanks & HUGS, my friend. 😉

  11. azhan Says:

    good laughter jemima! you’ve brighten up my day and have a good weekend =)

    Thanks & HUGS, Azhan. 😀
    All the best for your coming SPM.

  12. Sha Says:

    Hahahahaha!! those are great jokes! 🙂

    Hi Sha, welcome back! 😀
    I’m glad you enjoy them. HUGS!

  13. bodicea Says:

    sweatness. lawls.
    not bad. perhaps, my sense of humour is slightly different than yours. ^^”

    Thanks. I’m glad you like them, too. 😀

  14. merv Says:

    I’m reading this on a Sunday but hell with it. TGIF! Hahhaha

    I know what you mean. The weekend just flashes by. Thanks, Merv. 😀

  15. endroo G Says:

    nice one. Btw, what is a seafood disco ?? Is it disco where most of it’s patrons are typical cinnabeng (lala) kids ???

    Hehehe.. you’re creative & funny, too. 😉
    Thanks & HUGS! 😀


  16. Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
    Even though the sound of it is really quite atroscious
    Better than the joke about the chess nuts and their boastings
    Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!
    Um-deedledeedledeedle um-deedleday
    Um-deedledeedledeedle um-deedleday
    Um-deedledeedledeedle um-deedleday
    Super-super
    Super calloused
    Super Super calloused fragile
    So when the cable jumpers start something there’s no need for dismay
    Just summon up the antennae joke for something to say
    But better use puns carefully or it can change your life
    For example…
    Yes?
    One day I said it to me girl and now me girl’s me wife
    Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
    Even though the sound of it is really quite atroscious
    Better than the joke about the chess nuts and their boastings
    Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!
    Have a great holiday! 🙂

    Anither great piece, Dabs. 😀
    Thanks & HUGS! 😀

  17. dana Says:

    Made me laugh! Great collection!!!!


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