Don’t Let Your Loneliness Run Your Life

January 4, 2007

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from ?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong ?

– The Beatles –

If you want a recipe for disaster, let your loneliness motivate your choices. Choose to be with someone just because you’re lonely.

The desperation that loneliness creates blinds you to the other person. You choose someone merely because that person stays with you.

It could just as well be a hundred other people when you choose the wrong person.

Any person can end your loneliness at first, but only the right person can keep you from missing yourself. The wrong person drives your best away.

You are never more lonely than when you yearn to be your best.

When you are not your best, the times you spend by yourself are also times away from yourself. You are not what you want to be and you feel alienated from your journey and weary of the road.

And when you are with others, you use their presence like a drug. You need them too much. You fear their withdrawal and the abstinence of silence. In the middle of togetherness you anticipate parting and the fretful time when you will be alone with a self you do not esteem.


You need to tolerate your loneliness by knowing what it stands for.

See your loneliness as your heart’s dream for a life filled with meaning.

Use your time alone to think about your passion.

Use your time to weave the fabric of your intention.

In the silence, find the echo of your true intent.

Be grateful for being alone.

Your loneliness is always with you.

 I live in the spaces between my thoughts.

Painting: “Cabana Lights” by Carrie Graber 

Note: I dedicate this post to all the Eleanor Rigby & Father McKenzie.


13 Responses to “Don’t Let Your Loneliness Run Your Life”

  1. Gallivanter Says:

    This is by far my favorite entry and what I’ve been trying to preach all these years. Music is my refuge. 🙂

    Thank you, Dan. 🙂

  2. meekiee Says:

    We can choose to be alone yet not lonely.
    Likewise, we can be in a crowd and yet feeling lonely when everyone passes by.

    Thank you, Meekiee. 🙂

  3. bodicea Says:

    that girl in the picture reminds me of me.

    except that i don’t have long blonde hair.

    Jemima: ……… 🙂

  4. lx Says:

    The positive side of loneliness is that it allows us some solitude and space to evaluate, think and what we’d like to do about our lives … this is equally as poignant as what I thot about today 😉

    Lots of Hugs

    HUGS, Lx. 🙂

  5. Kyels Says:

    I don’t want to be alone too; but sometimes loneliness does come along and fill my soul.

    Anyway, don’t think too much, you will never be alone. We are here!


    Thank you, Kyels. 🙂

  6. nyonyapenang Says:

    need not despair when you are alone; in fact this is the best time for self-reflection and renewal. 🙂

    Thank you, Kak Nyonya. 🙂

  7. merv Says:

    I was feeling really lonely yesterday when I saw this couple getting cozy on the bus yesterday but then I remembered, “hey! I’ve still got a whole life ahead of me!” and I felt better hehe

    Thank you, Merv.

    Psst…I should start taking the bus, too. 😉

  8. Joycelyn Says:

    jemima,i like to read your blog entries…it speaks to my heart…sometimes i found it like you are writing what is in my mind,how i feel,etc…as if you can read my mind or maybe i have the same experience with you,etc.
    i really feel encourage after reading it.
    thanks Jemima
    hmmm….how i wish i can be a “new born” person like you do after your melbourne trip….hmmm..

    You’re most welcome, Joycelyn. 🙂
    Btw, I’m still the “old me”.. in many ways.

  9. fashionasia Says:

    its strange that sometimes we can be in a crowd but yet still feel lonely…..sometimes i feel that way too when im with a crowd that im forced to be with…
    May this year be a year that u find that special someone and feel lonely nomore!! 😉

    Gosh! *speechless & blushing after reading your last line* 😉

    Thank you, FA. 🙂

  10. endroo G Says:

    Something whispers in my ear and says:

    That you are not alone
    For I am here with you
    Though you’re far away
    I am here to stay
    You are not alone
    For I am here with you
    Though we’re far apart
    You’re always in my heart
    For you are not alone

    Thank you, Endroo. 🙂

  11. zeroimpact Says:

    Being lonely is not a good feeling
    However through it we know ourselves better
    Wanting another in our loneliness may not be a wise thing
    Wanting another not because of loneliness is what we should thrive for
    You have never been alone, unless you chose to be
    You will never be alone again, when you can have me around

    Thank you, Matt. 🙂

  12. sharon Says:

    i like this post dear. we are only truly alone when we choose to be. take care.

    That’s true & thanks, my friend.


  13. Rudy Says:

    This is definitely true. I have never read anyone who has been able to represent the true meaning of being by yourself as you brilliantly have.
    If people realized this, there will definitely be more happiness in the air.

    I give you huge two thumbs up for this piece 🙂

    Welcome Rudy & thank you for your kind compliments. 🙂

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