When a Dark Memory Returns

February 28, 2007

Don’t fight it.

Permit the intrusion without regret.

Let the memory or old feeling have its way with you.

The sadness of a lost love, a rebuke or betrayal, or a hurt that cut deeply left you wounded. It returns, takes your breath away, gives you pause.

Measure the depth of the hurt, but from the safe distance time provides.

Know that because the hurt is past, the resentment will cool.

Don’t push the painful feeling or memory away.

If you let it through without resisting it, it will pass.

Push it away and it will build, seeking the expression it needs to relieve the old pressure.

That is the way of old pain, pressing to the surface till it fades. Old pain comes in waves.

How can you stop a wave?

Ride the reappearance of your old emotions, but don’t try to hold them back. You’ll use up your energy, lose faith in yourself, doubt your strength and wholeness, and ruin your day.

Let the old hurt pass, acknowledging all that it means, and in a moment it will be gone. The hurt is diminished, and so is the likelihood of return.

The moment is returned to you.


I allow my memories to return and have their way.

I let the past replay but do not live in it.

I let old feelings flow through me on their way to peace.

I accept all that I was, all that has been.

I accept all of it – all of me.


8 Responses to “When a Dark Memory Returns”

  1. Shez Says:

    I was just sort of ‘arguing’ with my ex-schoolmates about bad and bitter memories. Most of them refused to talk about it, and tell other to off without reminding it.

    I just don’t really think that way. Like you’ve said, let it pass. Sometimes, talking about it will make it softer. We just shouldn’t run from it.

    Still I think it’s all up to the level of maturity in handling things like this.

    Whatever bad and bitter things happen to you, you’re surely meet a sweet and better moment after that. Things take turns, no?

    Have a nice day Jemima~

    p/s: I linked your blog. xD I love how you associate pictures and entries together.

    Shez, this post was written for a very good friend who recalled some bitter memories & shared them with me in confidence yesterday.
    Yes, I have been at my lowest lately & I’m trying my very best to recover from the aftermath.
    Some days are easier to get through than others – & of course, I can only believe that things can only get better.

    Thanks for linking me & for your kind compliments.
    I will link you, too.

  2. moz monster Says:

    Well said.


  3. Keropok Says:

    Oh no… don’t…
    Stay in the light, Jemima… stay in the light… 🙂

    Hope you’re doing ok, my friend!

    I could be better, my kawan.

  4. Scarey picture. Girl blowing a guys brain out with just a whisper. 🙂
    Apparently it doubles a mans IQ! 🙂

    Dabs, I like how you can see humour in everything. 😉

  5. Kyels Says:

    Always acknowledge the past; after all, it’s part and parcel of being one entity.

    My friend, whom this post is for, actually told me after reading it that acknowledging the past is hard to practise. I told my friend.. that it takes time.. a very long time.

  6. Cocka Doodle Says:

    Wah..when I read intrusion lah…measure the depth of hurt lah..I thought someone loosing virginity.
    Then when I read on, cheh! so potong stim geh..another mushy mushy post. LOL


  7. ianfluenza Says:

    LOL @ cocka’s comment

    My lips are sealed. 😉

  8. zeroimpact Says:

    Learning to smile at the past will make a whole lot of difference
    It is when we learn to live for ourselves and others at the same time
    There’s nothing that we can do to the past but we can do so much to ourselves

    Hopefully for the better…

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