May 17, 2007
If you don’t want to do something, say no.
Is that difficult for you?
The ease you have in saying no is a good measure to your freedom and potential happiness.
Think about it. Why should you have a problem indicating you don’t want to do what you don’t want to do? Are you afraid of hurting someone, causing a scene, testing another person’s affections?
When you say yes instead of no, you only set the other person up to expect you continue saying yes. Then when you finally do risk saying no, you’ll really disappoint the other person and you’ll sound like you don’t know your own mind, hence, you’ll create an opening for dispute.
You can say no. Practise in front of a mirror, but try not to make too much of this. It’s not that hard to do and easy to overdo out of negativity and powerlessness.
You don’t owe it to anyone to say that you want to do what you don’t want to do. Keep this simple, everyday business, not an act of defiance.
Are you getting uncomfortable as you think of applying this?
Does saying no seem anything but simple?
If saying no seems so difficult, it is probably because you have said yes for so long and so insincerely that now you feel to say no will require explaining your previous deceptions and correcting them.
Even if this true, it is a problem that will never go away until you begin to say what you really mean.
Say no and let it be the other person’s problem.
How I feel is enough to know what I want.