Say NO

May 17, 2007

If you don’t want to do something, say no.

Is that difficult for you?

The ease you have in saying no is a good measure to your freedom and potential happiness.

Think about it. Why should you have a problem indicating you don’t want to do what you don’t want to do? Are you afraid of hurting someone, causing a scene, testing another person’s affections?

When you say yes instead of no, you only set the other person up to expect you continue saying yes. Then when you finally do risk saying no, you’ll really disappoint the other person and you’ll sound like you don’t know your own mind, hence, you’ll create an opening for dispute.

You can say no. Practise in front of a mirror, but try not to make too much of this. It’s not thatΒ hard to do and easy to overdo out of negativity and powerlessness.

You don’t owe it to anyone to say that you want to do what you don’t want to do. Keep this simple, everyday business, not an act of defiance.

Are you getting uncomfortable as you think of applying this?

Does saying no seem anything but simple?

If saying no seems so difficult, it is probably because you have said yes for so long and so insincerely that now you feel to say no will require explaining your previous deceptions and correcting them.

Even if this true, it is a problem that will never go away until you begin to say what you really mean.

Say no and let it be the other person’s problem.


How I feel is enough to know what I want.

15 Responses to “Say NO”

  1. sandy Says:

    Hey it’s me again. I learned to say no recently and it’s a stress reliever. I was all about pleasing other people, which meant that I neglected myself. I love your site! Keep up the good work.

    Sandy, it’s not easy to say no. I’m trying very hard to say it ‘coz it is indeed very stressful. 😦
    Thanks for your compliments & encouragement. πŸ™‚

  2. Gallivanter Says:

    It’s a whole lot easier to say yes that’s for sure. Saying NO comes with maturity I believe…

    YES, Dan. There’s NO doubt about that. πŸ˜‰

  3. Tine Says:

    Took me a long time to finally learn how to say NO, mean it and not fall back. But with that, comes growth and maturity πŸ™‚

    You’re definitely full of strength, maturity & beauty too.. Tine. πŸ˜‰

  4. Che-Cheh Says:

    Depends who I deal with…saying No can be pretty easy and hard.

    Even to Chester??? πŸ˜›

  5. winn Says:

    i cant help it . soemtiems my facial expressions already can tell that person it’s a ‘ NO’ , but a ‘yes’ cld suddenly slip outta my mouth.

    Hehe.. I can just imagine you doing that, Winn. πŸ˜›

  6. Selba Says:

    This is one of the biggest dilema…

    You want to say NO but then you said YES, you feel unhappy… coz NO is what you want to say.
    You want to say NO and it finally the NO came out of your mouth, you feel unhappy too… because of the uneasy feeling, quilty feeling and thoughts about the other person’s feeling, bla bla bal….

    Aiyoooo… why is life so complicated?

    Nothing in life is easy, Selba. Nothing.
    Trust me, I know how you feel.

  7. moz monster Says:

    NO ! NO ! NO ! NO !

    … just practising … πŸ˜€

    This is good advise that we don’t always get to put into practice …

    Hehe.. Thanks, Moz. πŸ™‚
    It would be perfect if we do. πŸ˜‰

  8. Ashish C. Says:

    Finally after so many months of reading, you finally blog about something that I’m a master of! πŸ˜› I’m well reknowned for my qualities of saying no…. “Ashish go to the market!” “No!”, “Ashish come and help me with this…” “No”

    You folks should learn from me! πŸ˜›

    Yes, Master Ashish. πŸ˜†

  9. ‘If you don’t want to do something, say no.

    Is that difficult for you?’

    Yes! [I was going to say, ‘no’, but couldn’t bring myself to do it! So, it is difficult. yes? no?]

    Of course, I could just say ‘Know’ cause then I’m not denying anyone anything, and it’s not my fault they misunderstood! πŸ™‚

    Haha.. Dabs, a teacher friend told me once that a student wrote the answer “I don’t no” in a test that she gave them. πŸ˜›

  10. may Says:

    I sometimes have a problem saying no, but I’m learning… slowly… that the world won’t die if I did. hor?

    Nah.. the world will still moves on, May. πŸ˜‰

  11. Lex Says:

    I think it really depends on the situation… but you are right. It’s hard to say NO especially if it’s your loved ones >.

    Thanks, Lex.

  12. meekiee Says:

    Is that easier to say NO or to take NO as answer?

    Vicky, that depends on the individual.

  13. _butt Says:

    I stay away from confrontations whenever necessary, so I try my best to stay ‘yes’.. most of the time. Is it bad? hmm..

    *puzzled by _butt’s comment*

  14. _butt Says:

    alamak.. ‘stay’ yes pulak. ‘say’ is what I mean. lol

    *understands _butt’s earlier comment now* πŸ™‚

    It depends on each individual, _butt.
    Some of us have no problems saying ‘no’ while others have no problems saying ‘yes’ and some of us have no problems saying both. πŸ˜‰

  15. stev Says:

    hear hear!

    the one thing we all need to learn is how to say no!

    (coming in a close 2nd place is how to tell someone to go to hell & make them actually look forward to it…)

    Stev, I need some tips on how to make them look forward to hell. πŸ˜‰

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