Share your Aloneness

March 11, 2008

Sharing your solitary self takes trust.

Revealing the inner workings of your heart exposes you to the rebuke of indifference and the icy frustration of not being taken seriously.

Who wants to suffer the pain of not being heard when you most need someone to listen?

To allow another (it will only be one or two at best, never others) to come close, to know the same self you are when you are alone with yourself, is the heart of intimacy.

Being intimate is displaying in the presence of another the self you discover in solitude.

What a risk hangs on this.

If you show your true self and are rejected because the other person did not understand or care enough to allow you to make yourself understood, you recoil, perceiving the whole world as hollow, empty as a shadow play.

Where is life’s meaning if such sacred knowing cannot be shared?

Kindred spirits do not need to work at this. In each other’s presence they find all the encouragement they need to be alone together.

First you must love being alone with yourself.

Then you must love the other.

The selves that appear in that interface define a world that appears every time they are together.

Which is reflection? Which is the source?


There is nothing between me and myself.
The space is empty.
There is room here for one more empty space, one more open person.
If I find that person, how wonderful.
If I don’t, I am still with me.

Painting: โ€œConsiderationโ€ by Carrie Graber


9 Responses to “Share your Aloneness”

  1. boss cat Says:

    don’t worry. there’s always someone there to listen to you. can I be the one too???

    Well, of course, Boss Cat. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Kyels Says:

    You know you can talk to me — that’s for sure.


    I know, Kyels. ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. LB Says:

    Wise considerations, indeed… Hugs, Jemima.. Hope you are fine! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks, LB.
    No worries, I’m fine. *HUGS*

  4. Trinity Says:

    Jemima… smile! God loves you…


    *SMILES at Trinity*
    The LORD loves us all.


  5. mistipurple Says:

    good to see you blogging again, jem.
    drink to better days! cheers!

    *raises glass*
    Yum Seng, Misti. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. ‘Revealing the inner workings of your heart exposes you to the rebuke of indifference’
    Plus lots of germs. Better to keep the heart in the chest where it belongs.

    ‘In each otherโ€™s presence they find all the encouragement they need to be alone together.’

    Ow! My brain … they’re alone … bu together, but if together, then they’re not alone, but they’re alone … but together … and argh! Headache!

    ‘First you must love being alone with yourself.’

    I do, but people won’t leave me alone when I’m enjoying it.

    ‘Then you must love the other.’

    But I’m alone … now you’re freaking me out. Is there a ghost in my room? Is this what you’re trying to tell me? Is it behind me? Wait! Is it spooky sort of ghost? What if it’s a guy ghost, do I still have to love it? That’s like Gay Ghost stuff! I’m not sure I’m into gay ghost stuff. Okay, I’m leaving the room to get away from the gay ghost! Thanks for freaking me out!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    ROTFL ๐Ÿ˜†

    Thanks, Dabs. ๐Ÿ˜†

  7. waz Says:

    thanks…i like this entry…but rite now, I prefer my lonesome! me anti-social side has taken over!!! ๐Ÿ˜›

    Ditto, Waz!!! ๐Ÿ˜›

  8. kat Says:

    Well, that’s why FB and blogging have taken the world by storm. And other online friendship channels. You make ‘friends’ at your own convenience – join in when you feel like it, remain invisible when you’re not in the mood. Chat when you need to talk, log out when you’re in the dumps. Hard to tell who is sincere and who is just in for the kicks. Keep it on a superficial level? Don’t take things seriously?? Sounds like a playboy chalking up his conquests!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    I’m an introvert – I like my alone time. I wither when I am deprived of it.. ๐Ÿ˜€

    I don’t have FB or Friendster. These days I hardly sign in any of my IM. Simply no time. Besides, when I come online, almost everyone I know is asleep.

    Kat, I love my ME time too but due to present circumstances.. I’m terribly deprived. *sigh*

  9. stev Says:

    fully agreed. yet it’s always a journey.

    Life is a journey, Stev. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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